did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
