I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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