My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
