This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
