Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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