I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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