So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
