If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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