I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
