Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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