Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
