He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
