We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
