And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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