yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I supernannyed him into submission
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
