I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I know her cup size but not her name....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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