Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
