would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
