I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
