ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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