Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
try to milk me bitch
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
