I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
