Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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