fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
