4 words: hood of his car
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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