Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
