return my video game
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
