it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
