Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
