Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
soo... how was my night?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize