Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
