just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize