god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Too much gin, very little bucket
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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