Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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