She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
