My room smells like vodka and shame
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
