I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This toilet bowl is my home.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
