You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
where am i from again
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I AM VODKA MAN
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
