Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize