So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
my liver is dry heaving
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
