Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
