i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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