just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
