Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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