Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize