dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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