Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
