direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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