I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
