it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
