You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
