She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
