TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
