It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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