I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
