In America we eat man semen.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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