She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
