I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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