last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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