awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
