You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
