She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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